As an ESFJ, your primary mode of living is focused externally, where you deal with things according to

how you feel about them, or how they fit in with your personal value system. Your secondary mode is

internal, where you take things in via your five senses in a literal, concrete fashion.

ESFJ's are people persons - they love people. They are warmly interested in others. They use their Sensing

and Judging characteristics to gather specific, detailed information about others, and turn this information

into supportive judgments. They want to like people, and have a special skill at bringing out the best in

others. They are extremely good at reading others, and understanding their point of view. The ESFJ's strong

desire to be liked and for everything to be pleasant makes them highly supportive of others. People like to

be around ESFJ’s, because the ESFJ has a special gift of invariably making people feel good about

themselves.

The ESFJ takes their responsibilities very seriously, and is very dependable. They value security and

stability, and have a strong focus on the details of life. They see before others do what needs to be done,

and do whatever it takes to make sure that it gets done. They enjoy these types of tasks, and are extremely

good at them.

ESFJ’s are warm and energetic. They need approval from others to feel good about themselves. They are

hurt by indifference and don't understand unkindness. They are very giving people, who get a lot of their

personal satisfaction from the happiness of others. They want to be appreciated for who they are, and what

they give. They're very sensitive to others, and freely give practical care. ESFJ’s are such caring individuals

that they sometimes have a hard time seeing or accepting a difficult truth about someone they care about.

With Extraverted Feeling dominating their personality, ESFJ’s are focused on reading other people. They

have a strong need to be liked, and to be in control. They are extremely good at reading others, and often

change their own manner to be more pleasing to whoever they're with at the moment.

The ESFJ's value system is defined externally. They usually have very well-formed ideas about the way

things should be, and are not shy about expressing these opinions. However, they weigh their values and

morals against the world around them, rather than against an internal value system. They may have a strong

moral code, but it is defined by the community that they live in, rather than by any strongly felt internal

values.

ESFJ’s who have had the benefit of being raised and surrounded by a strong value system that is ethical and

centered around genuine goodness will most likely be the kindest, most generous souls who will gladly

give you the shirt off of their back without a second thought. For these individuals, the selfless quality of

their personality type is genuine and pure. ESFJ’s who have not had the advantage of developing their own

values by weighing them against a good external value system may develop very questionable values. In

such cases, the ESFJ most often genuinely believes in the integrity of their skewed value system. They have

no internal understanding of values to set them straight. In weighing their values against our society, they

find plenty of support for whatever moral transgression they wish to justify. This type of ESFJ is a

dangerous person indeed. Extraverted Feeling drives them to control and manipulate, and their lack of

Intuition prevents them from seeing the big picture. They're usually quite popular and good with people,

and good at manipulating them. Unlike their ENFJ cousin, they don't have Intuition to help them

understand the real consequences of their actions. They are driven to manipulate other to achieve their own

ends, yet they believe that they are following a solid moral code of conduct.

All ESFJ’s have a natural tendency to want to control their environment. Their dominant function demands

structure and organization, and seeks closure. ESFJ’s are most comfortable with structured environments.

They're not likely to enjoy having to do things which involve abstract, theoretical concepts, or impersonal

analysis. They do enjoy creating order and structure, and are very good at tasks which require these kinds

of skills. ESFJ’s should be careful about controlling people in their lives who do not wish to be controlled.

ESFJ’s respect and believe in the laws and rules of authority, and believe that others should do so as well.

They're traditional, and prefer to do things in the established way, rather than venturing into uncharted

territory. Their need for security drives their ready acceptance and adherence to the policies of the

established system. This tendency may cause them to sometimes blindly accept rules without questioning

or understanding them.

An ESFJ who has developed in a less than ideal way may be prone to being quite insecure, and focus all of

their attention on pleasing others. He or she might also be very controlling, or overly sensitive, imagining

bad intentions when there weren't any.

ESFJ’s incorporate many of the traits that are associated with women in our society. However, male ESFJ’s

will usually not appear feminine at all. On the contrary, ESFJ’s are typically quite conscious about gender

roles and will be most comfortable playing a role that suits their gender in our society. Male ESFJ’s will be

quite masculine (albeit sensitive when you get to know them), and female ESFJ’s will be very feminine.

ESFJ’s at their best are warm, sympathetic, helpful, cooperative, tactful, down-to-earth, practical, thorough,

consistent, organized, enthusiastic, and energetic. They enjoy tradition and security, and will seek stable

lives that are rich in contact with friends and family.

Dominant: Extraverted Feeling

Auxiliary: Introverted Sensing

Tertiary: Extraverted Intuition

Inferior: Introverted Thinking

The ESFJ has two primary traits which will help define their best career direction: 1) they are extremely

organized and enjoy creating order, and 2) much of their self-satisfaction is gotten through giving and

helping others. Accordingly, they will do well at tasks which involve creating or maintaining order and

structure, and they will be happiest when they are serving others.

ESFJ’s are warm-hearted individuals who highly value their close personal relationships. They are very

service-oriented, and their own happiness is closely tied into the happiness and comfort of those around

them. They are valued for their genuine warm and caring natures, and their special ability to bring out the

best in others. They usually do not handle conflict well, and may tend to be very controlling or

manipulative. Relationships are central to their lives, and they put forth a great amount of energy into

developing and maintaining their close interpersonal relationships. They expect the same from others.

special events

failure onto their own shoulders

The ESFJ is called the “caregiver”, and for good reason. Caring is the very nature of their personality; a

personality driven by feeling judgments and supported by a strong sense of the world around them. The

ESFJ not only sees how situations affect themselves and others, they are concerned about it. Everything

that makes them feel valued and successful is bound inextricably to the value and concern they need to

exchange with others. “Give and ye shall receive” is the motto of the ESFJ, whose gifts serve the most

important function in all communal human processes, from the family to the wider world of care giving

such as hospitality, primary teaching, nursing, aged care, social services, human resources and so on.

Whilst their judgments might be bound by a somewhat conventional moral code, the ESFJ always stands up

for what they are certain is the best for others. In some situations this trait can lead them into disaster,

particularly if they are thrust into an unsuitable role. The ESFJ thrives best where they can make the

decisions and organize things to suit their own way of seeing the world. Regardless however of their

particular station in life, the ESFJ is at their best when it involves caring for and about others, measuring

their success by the happiness and gratitude which is reflected back to them from the people in whose lives

they play a part.

As an ESFJ, you have gifts that are specific to your personality type that aren't natural strengths for other

types. By recognizing your special gifts and encouraging their growth and development, you will more

readily see your place in the world, and how you can better use your talents to achieve your dreams.

Nearly all ESFJ’s will recognize the following characteristics in themselves. They should embrace and

nourish these strengths:

ESFJ’s who have a strongly expressed Introverted Sensing function will find they also enjoy these very

special gifts:

With any gift of strength, there is an associated weakness. The strong expression of any function can

overshadow others, whilst at the same time its own associated and unexpressed inferior function can mine

the unconscious mind and throw up annoying resistances and unsettling emotions. We value our strengths,

but we often curse and - even more limiting to our potential development - ignore our weaknesses. To grow

as a person and get what we want out of life, we must not only capitalize upon our strengths, but also face

our weaknesses and deal with them. That means taking a hard look at our personality type's potential

problem areas.

ESFJ’s are kind, steady and responsible beings with many special gifts. I would like the ESFJ to keep in

mind their many positive traits as they read on, and remember that the weaknesses associated with being an

ESFJ are natural to your type. Although it can be depressing to read about your type's weaknesses, please

remember that we offer this information to enact positive change. We want people to grow into their own

potential, and to live happy and successful lives.

Many of the ESFJ’s weaker characteristics arise because their dominant and Extraverted Feeling function

can overshadow the rest of their personality. This generally results in two notable effects. With their

Introverted Sensing function unable to provide sufficient balance to their sharply defined feeling

judgments, they often miss the relativities and contingencies of the real world. This very often leads them

into conflict with those who believe a situation needs to be properly analyzed before its realities can be

seen and acted upon. Secondly, with their sense of the world controlled by feelings alone, the narrowly

defined ESFJ will nearly always find themselves at odds with any view of the world that does not see their

own clearly held judgments to be primary, or which does not accord them the “feeling toned” responses

they expect. This can produce a range of effects, every one of which ends in conflict for the ESFJ, either

with others or with their own feelings.

Without a sound appreciation of the concrete world, an ESFJ may show some or all of the following

weaknesses in varying degrees:

“right” way to do things

“ought” to behave.

thinking.

others.

fashion.

Nearly all of the problematic characteristics described above can be attributed in various degrees to the

ESFJ’s externally mapped, feeling based view of the world not being successfully coupled to an

appropriate level of Introverted Sensation. Without this internal balance, the ESFJ’s perceptions and ideas

are determined by feeling judgments which are not in always a valid basis for understanding.

ESFJ’s are usually stable, certain, reliable and caring in their approach to life, but if unbalanced they are

likely to treat any point of view other than their own with a kind of amused indifference or a tendency to

keep those with differing attitudes and opinions at a distance. Whilst this is natural survival behavior for the

strongly expressed ESFJ personality, if they do not learn how to deal with the wide range of differing

viewpoints they come into contact with, ESFJ’s can find themselves waging a self created war against all

that opposes their own. This conflict often expresses itself in various unambiguous and simplistic “Us

verses Them” generalities, or a penchant for smugly and narrowly defining other people by arbitrary or

superstitious belief systems, which often actually symbolize and define their own conflict. At its worst, this

conflict with the obstinate and unfeeling contingent realities of the world creates a situation where the ESFJ

retreats to a kind of psychological castle where, not only none but those who have the “right” or “nice”

approach can enter, but also where the ESFJ’s feeling based and often tortured logic, attitudes and

judgments reign supreme and cannot be questioned; a place where: “give and you shall receive” can

ironically twist quickly into: “off with his head!”

The main driver to the ESFJ personality is Extraverted Feeling, whose function is to judge the relative

human value of the ideas, behaviors, situations and objects they perceive. The resulting world view is tidy,

and ordered according to its worth to the ESFJ’s own particular character: “Everything has its place and

everything in its place”. If this picture of the world is threatened by external influences, the ESFJ generally

tries to shut such new information out of their lives. This is totally natural, and works well to protect the

individual psyche from getting hurt. However, the ESFJ who exercises this type of self-protection regularly

will find they can only connect and relate with those who do not actively disturb their increasingly narrow

and rigid world view. They will always find justification for their own inappropriate behaviors, and will

always find fault with the outside world for problems that they have in their lives. It will be difficult for

them to maintain the flexibility needed for a healthy relationship with the messy world outside because the

differing ways others value things is a constant affront to their personal judgments.

It is not an uncommon tendency for the ESFJ to support their feeling judgments by selectively using only

their immediate perceptions of a situation and how it appears to them. However, if this tendency is given

free reign, the resulting ESFJ personality is too self-centered to be happy or successful. The ESFJ's

auxiliary function of Introverted Sensing must be allowed to grow beyond this limit, where it is used only

to support Extraverted Feeling judgments. If the ESFJ uses Introverted Sensing only to serve this purpose,

then the ESFJ is not using Introversion effectively at all. As a result, the ESFJ does not sufficiently

recognize and understand the vast number of contingent and differing ways in which the world is perceived

by others. They see nothing but their own perspective, and deal with the world only so far as they need to in

order to support their perspective. These individuals usually come across as somewhat illogical and full of

fixed and often rather staid or conventional ideas about the world. Other people are often surprised by the

simplicity, ambiguity and often unrelenting vehemence of their ideas.

To grow as an individual, the ESFJ needs to focus on opening their perspective to include a more accurate

picture of the world and its ways. In order to be in a position in which the ESFJ is able to perceive and

consider data that is foreign to their value system, the ESFJ needs to recognize that their world view is not

threatened by the new information. The ESFJ must consciously tell himself/herself that the judgments of

others are not unrelated to reality; that the ideas of others are also just and valid within a wider and less

rigorous vision of the world.

The ESFJ who is concerned with personal growth will pay close attention to the way things appear to them.

Do they try to find the basic connections between the elements of a situation? Or, do they appreciate only

those elements which accord them a feeling of worth? At the moment when some connection or

relationship between things is perceived, is the ESFJ only concerned with whether that perception supports

something they value? Or is she/he concerned with becoming truly appraised of how things fit together in

the world? To achieve a better understanding of others and the world in which they live, the ESFJ should

try to put themselves into the minds of others, to locate and recognize how others see things, before making

judgments. They should consciously be aware of their tendency to discard anything that doesn't agree with

their carefully adjudicated system of relative worth, and work towards lessening this tendency. They should

try to see the way others might see situations, without making personal judgments about how others ought

to feel. In general, they should work on exercising their Sensation in a truly introverted sense. In other

words, they should use Sensation to recognize that all parts of a situation are necessary for its functionality

and that valuing one function or objective connection over another narrows their ability to deal with the real

world as it truly is. The ESFJ who can successfully envision the world as a realm of functioning and

connected parts which are all necessary to its balance can be quite a powerful force for positive change.

Some ESFJ’s have difficulty fitting into our society. Their problems are often a result of an inability

understand the connections and relationships necessary to each situation, a too conventional and dogmatic

set of values which limits the way others can relate to them, or an unrealistic and illogical view of the

world. These issues mostly stem from using Introverted Sensation in a diminished manner: the lack of a

strong internally focused viewpoint allowing an often ambiguous and yet strongly defended set of values to

control the personality. An ESFJ who attempts to envision a more accurate and impartial view of the world

for the sake of understanding the ways of others, rather than quickly deciding how things alone affect them,

will have a clearer, more objective understanding of how society is dependant not only upon adherence to

values and care for others, but also how the world relies upon structure and laws which function regardless

of their human value. He or she will also be more comfortable and less likely to demand that the world and

the behavior of others conform to values of right and wrong, good and bad, worthy and worthless etc. Such

well-adjusted ESFJ’s will fit happily into our society.

Unless you really understand Psychological Type and the nuances of the various personality functions, it's a

difficult task to suddenly start to use Sensation in an unambiguous and totally introverted direction. It's

difficult to even understand what that means, much less to incorporate that directive into your life. With

that in mind, I am providing some specific suggestions that may help you to begin exercising your

Introverted Sensation more fully:

Take care to try and discover how others see things. Try to notice the connections they make between ideas

and objects. Don’t immediately compare your own vision of things to theirs; simply accept that for them

the world fits together in a valid way.

Think of those times and situations in your life when you felt misunderstood or disregarded by others. Now

try to understand how one or two other people would see the situation. Don't try to assume they would

judge as you do: "she would have to feel the same way if that happened to her", or "he would change his

tune if he saw things from my point of view". Rather, try to understand how they would truly see the

situation. Would they analyze it through a code of values, or see it as an opportunity to grasp a wider

perspective in which a solution can be found? Would it affect them personally or would they view it

impartially? Try to determine their point of view without passing judgment or comparing it to your own.

When having a conversation with a friend or relative, dedicate at least half of your time to finding out how

the other person sees the world around them. Concentrate on really sensing the relationships within what

they describe. Tell them how you see the world and compare. Ask questions about why things seem so to

them.

Think of the people who are closest to you. As you think of each person, tell yourself "this person has their

own life going on, and they are more concerned with their own life than they are with mine." Remember

that this doesn't mean that they don't care about you. It's the natural order of things. Try to visualize what

that person is seeing right now. What connections are they making or enacting, what thoughts are they

having? Don't pass judgment, or compare their situation to your own.

Try to identify the personality type of everyone that you come into contact with for any length of time.

1. Feed Your Strengths! Let your talent for caring and giving spill out into the world around you,

show your gifts to the world. Allow yourself to take opportunities to nurture and develop

situations in your home and work environments which bring value for yourself and others. Find

work or a hobby which allows you to realize these strengths.

2. Face Your Weaknesses! Realize and accept that some things are never going to be how you would

like them to be. Understand that other peoples need to deal with the world regardless of how it

seems. Facing and dealing with discord or differences in others doesn't mean that you have to

change who you are; it means that you are giving yourself opportunities to grow. By facing your

weaknesses, you honor your true self and that of others.

3. Discover the World of Others. Don't let yourself fall into the trap of thinking you always know

what is right for others. Open your heart to the possibility of understanding that their true needs

are something that must be discovered through recognition that their view of the world might be

very different, yet just as valid as your own.

4. Don’t be too hasty. Try to let things settle before you make a judgment, allowing others to

discover the best for themselves while you try to see all the variables and contingencies in a

situation.

5. Look Carefully at the World. Remember, things are not always what they seem on the surface.

You might need to look deeper to discover the truth, particularly when it seems you are sure of

your first quick judgment. There are layers of meaning and truth beneath everything.

6. Try to Let Others Take Some of the Load. By letting others make their own judgments, you are

not letting things get out of control, but are validating their own need to be a part of your life.

Remember, it is better to guide another to see your point of view than keeping them out of the

picture.

7. Be Accountable to Others. Remember that they need to understand you and your needs too.

Express your doubts and difficulties as well as your reasons and let them become partners to your

goals.

8. Don’t Hem Yourself in. Staying in your comfort zone is self defeating in the end. Try to make

every day one where you get out and discover a little something different about the world and

others. This will broaden your horizons and bring new ideas and opportunities into focus.

9. Assume the Best and Seek for it. Don't wait for others to live up to your expectations. Every

person has a goldmine of worth in them, just as every situation can be turned to some good. If you

let yourself believe this, you will find yourself discovering ways to make it true for you.

10. When in Doubt, Ask For Help! Don't let your fears leave you on the horns of a dilemma or lead

you into disaster. If you are uncertain of something or someone then get input from others who

have greater experience in dealing with this difficulty.